recurrent tarot
I have been working with tarot cards for over a decade now, using it mostly as a sporadic practice for self-reflection, or narrative generation for creative writing. I think of the cards as not a omniscient fortune teller, but a neutral outside perspective that can provide an alternative approach. It’s useful, fun, and (in an anthropological sense) makes me feel connected to the long-standing human tradition of divination.
Across various decks and eras of my life, there are cards that continue to show up for me in readings. When these cards appear, it feels like a therapist or friend calling me out on a recognizable pattern or behavior - a kind of “ah, hey, you again” reaction. Here are a few of those cards (with images from the traditional Smith-Ryder-Waite tarot):
Two of Wands
A person holding a globe stands on a balcony near two wands/sticks, looking out over the sea. They hold the world in their hands - but what is across the sea? Is it worth leaving what they have to go after what they want? This card came up a lot in my 20s, but I haven’t seen it around as much recently.
Two of Swords
A blindfolded person holds two swords across their chest. This card represents indecision, maybe even being blinded to the truth. Thankfully, the “two” points to a binary decision that must be made - yes or no, this or that. Big “just please pick something already” energy.
Eight of Swords
A woman stands on the shore surrounded by swords, loosely blindfolded and tied up, with a castle in the distance. Trapped, but not really. This card represents self-imposed restrictions, self-doubt, and disempowerment. As the swords suite focuses on intellect, this card makes an appearance when I am feeling controlled by anxious thoughts.
Nine of Pentacles
A glowing woman stands in a blooming garden, radiating abundance. This card feels like sunshine and serotonin. When this card shows up, I know good things are coming my way, especially as pentacles/coins are rooted in the same element as my sun sign: Earth.
Strength (VIII)
Traditionally shown as a woman petting a lion, showing that true strength does not come from brute force or power, but from compassion, self-control, and knowing confidence. This is my go-to major arcana card, and it has shown up enough that it inspired my most recent tattoo.
good things on the internet
Steve “The Hair” Harrington (aka Djo) covers HAIM’s Gasoline 🥁
Brandon Taylor’s insane essay “american symbolism” on the internet, Venezuela, ICE, and the world’s longest month of January 📖
currently reading
The Three Body Problem by Cixin Liu: One of the best pieces of science fiction I have ever read, packed with real-world physics and historical context about the People’s Revolution in 1960s/70s China.
There’s Always This Year: On Basketball and Ascension by Hanif Abdurraqib: Last year I was lucky enough to attend a talk & signing by Abdurraqib, and I got to tell him that his writing is so good it makes me happy to be alive at the same time as him, and he signed my book “with hope.” A prosaic memoir of a person and a place, Cleveland.
“Collapse is already here. It’s just unevenly distributed. There is nothing more inherently colonialist than Columbusing the apocalypse. Collapse is not going to be cute. It’s not coming to simplify our lives like some Mad Max Marie Kondo. Collapse is just entropy. The basic law of the universe. The mess that accumulates when you stop straightening up. The wreckage that people with power inflict on those without. Collapse is what we imperfectly try to forestall every day when we show up and work to make the world just a little bit better.”
“We are being attacked. One of the things I actually think that is striking a little bit is I know outside of Minneapolis and Minnesota, people say, “Oh they need to be better trained.” But when you see it up close and you see what they’re doing, the scale of it and how little interest they have in effective immigration enforcement, you realize that it’s not like they overstepped or are badly trained. They are attacking us. We are under occupation. And you’ll notice that the mayor and governor are saying the same thing.”
“The Saturday after Good’s murder, she and I sit with a small group of volunteers gathered to talk about how to improve rideshare coordination over WhatsApp. She tells us in Spanish that migrants can’t use corporate rideshare services because there have been reports of Uber drivers taking people directly to ICE. Of the more than two hundred people in the rideshare text thread, half are citizens offering rides and half are requesting. “I like being in this group because I’m meeting so many neighbors I would not have met otherwise,” someone says at the meeting. “I hope we stay connected after this is all over.””
this week’s jam
photo of my cats
It’s been the tower and the hermit for me, I think. Old friends. Hated enemies, at times. I need to check back in with my personal throws. It was nice to read about yours 🩵