enjoy the silence

a trail run train of thought

Jul 08, 2025

Last weekend’s highlight was a 10 mile solo trail run in Stehekin, a remote boat-in-only community at the tip of Lake Chelan in central Washington state. I drove for 5 hours the day beforehand to get to the area, the longest I have been in a car by myself in years; a drive that followed several days of solo cat-parenting as my partner traveled out of state. All this to say - I spent a lot of time with myself these last few weeks, culminating in a spectacular experience that can only be had in wild places.

After a zippy ferry ride up the lake, I waved good-bye to my friends on bikes at the ferry dock and set off. Heart thumping loudly in my ears, I huffed my way up the steep climb, clapping every now and again to scare off any bears and praying I didn’t encounter a rattlesnake.

Nearing the summit, I paused at a lookout point close to the “Rainbow Bridge” river crossing -

and listened.

To nothing.

No human-produced sounds, that is - cars, people talking, electricity humming, all absent from the fire-scarred woods. Just the wind blowing through the butterscotch ponderosa pine needles, the occasional bird call, and my steadying inhales and exhales. I felt something settle in me, a sense of peace I have never experienced. Any lingering fears dissipated. It felt grand. It felt like a gift.

Standing there, literally enjoying the silence, my brain did what it always does, which is press play on a song relating to what I am thinking about/living through, an interior jukebox musical. Depeche Mode echoed in my mind. Mining the lyrics out of the recesses of my subconscious, I decided then and there to ignore the implications of the verses (is it about a relationship? drugs?). This song is about how silence is often the key to discovering or re-discovering a secure sense of self. “All I ever wanted / All I ever needed is here in my arms” - it’s himself. He is holding himself. I get it now.

I then thought of a passage I had read years ago from Terry Tempest Williams’ book Erosion:

“Not long ago, a friend visited us from New York City, planning to stay for several days in the desert. But after her first night, we woke in the morning and found her with her bags packed, standing at the front door. She had changed her plane ticket for an early return to Manhattan. Her last words to us as she left were “Aren’t you afraid you will be forgotten?”
What I wanted to say but didn’t was “I hope so.”
None of us see the landscape the same.”

I can understand how the red-rocked Utah desert’s vast expansiveness and lack of human noise was too frightening for Williams’ guest - understandably so, when most people’s day to day lives revolve around constant input & consumption. But stillness is vital to sitting with oneself. In yoga, there is the concept of “chitta vritti”, translating to “monkey mind” or “mind chatter.” Regular yoga practice & meditation (or meditative activities, like trail running) can help quiet the cymbal-clanging monkey mind, bringing true clarity to the perceiver.

I am doing my best to carry this peace, this clear-mindedness, into the week; remembering Stehekin, but also remembering swims in a clear glacial-blue lake, looking down at my kicking legs and feet, the sun-dappled rocks on the surface below, and saying, “Ah, there you are. I was looking for you.”

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