dissociative fantasies for imagined futures

how are you doing? horrible? great, me too

I find I delve into reading darker fantasy series - particularly those written by women - when what is happening in the world feels too oppressive to tolerate.* 

Which is why I spent a good chunk of the last month reading 3,000+ pages of the Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas.

More than anything else, good fantasy books allow me to escape into a different world with people like us. Despite facing horrors just as overwhelming and seemingly indestructible as ours, the protagonists fight, and keep fighting, for a better world. In some cases, their mere existence is a defiance against the powers that be.

More importantly, reading fantasy reminds me that I possess an imagination. I can conjure up images of people and places that do not exist, as easily as I can remember a childhood family vacation or picture dress options for an upcoming outing. In other words, I have the capacity to be creative, to think beyond my limited knowledge and experience. That’s what the main characters in these stories are doing - they are dedicating themselves to survive and build a fairer world than the one they were handed. And it is when the world feels darkest that I most need a reminder on the importance of imagination. Radical imagination & storytelling are essential to survive as humans; both in a species sense, and in the sense of maintaining any scrap of humanity.

The images I have seen on my phone these last few weeks, next to pictures of my friend’s children in Halloween costumes and ads for Away luggage, will haunt me for the rest of my life.

So I check out of ‘right now,’ and join Aelin Galathynius in her quest to defeat evil Erawan, accompanied by her circle of fae and human warriors. Their dark nights of the soul are many, but they still find hope and cleave to it. 

I try to do the same.

*I stand by my oft-shared opinion that binging a book series is better than binging any TV show, because its like your brain is the TV, and isn’t that cool?

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good things on the internet

• Catching up on The Dream season 3 about life coaches, and I like to think host Jane Marie and I would be friends ✨

• I love reading the aesthetics wiki 🌈

• I also will never get over this 🧛

• Milwaukee Public Library continues to demonstrate how to do public sector socials the right (aka, fun) way 🚗

currently reading

• The Stranger’s “Forced Out” series on people leaving states with (and because of) anti-trans legislation: Read the first four installments here, here, here, and here. This series is excellent reporting, grounding the largesse of laws & lawsuits aiming to eradicate trans folks in personal stories of survival & change. The fact that this series is local makes my lil grinch heart soar with unsubstantiated pride.

• Jude Doyle on Labyrinth & growing up: ““Adult sexuality,” or more precisely being sexualized by adult men, really is a threat to teen girls, and to many other children. But Sarah cannot stop growing up just because Jareth scares her. Sarah’s adulthood does not consist of being willing to care for a baby (yuck) or of going on dates with boys; it comes from knowing her own power, being willing to say what she will and will not tolerate. It comes from honoring herself and refusing to be intimidated or made small by others: My will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great.”

• Jezebel and the Question of Women’s Anger

• An Old Story by Tracie K. Smith (from this month’s All We Can Save dispatch): “Then animals long believed gone crept down // From trees. We took new stock of one another. // We wept to be reminded of such color.”

this week’s jam

photo of my cats

Image description: A portrait mode Muir basks in the light of the setting afternoon sun.

                                                   🍉 Free Palestine 🍉